This blog is not intended as a source of primary journalism, but rather comedic commentary on the news. It’s satire. Feedback on anything, including accuracy of news commented on, is still encouraged.

For reasons expanded upon later and to avoid enabling potential cases of narcissistic personality disorder, certain unique precautions will be taken in this article.

Firstly, this article will not name anyone who wasn’t already named by a major news organization.

Secondly, all photographs that would otherwise be of Chris Saccoccia (named by Global and more) have been replaced by images of actor Dustin Milligan, as Saccoccia reminds me of his character in Dirk Gently’s Hollistic Detective Agency, and because Milligan is, shall we say, nice to look at. …

‘The Line’ isn’t slowing down any time soon.

Editor’s Note: The following article does not reflect the political ideology of COSY as a publication. However, we encourage political conversation of all kinds.

Update: In late October, The Line’s closed Facebook group was banned from the platform. Although many members have populated other social networks, There are still several local chapters of The Line and smaller partner groups active on Facebook.

Do you have any friends who have changed any of their social media profile pictures to this recently?

That right; there is the logo for The Line, Canada’s (mostly) homegrown anti-lockdown movement. The splashed red line over a thick black circle has been most popular in Albertan Facebook circles, but has gained more than enough traction among Quebec and Ontario residents since its conception. …

Content warning: references to paedophilia, grooming, statutory rape.

Please note that this article is satire. The jokes made are not made in good taste, and do not reflect personal opinions regarding sexual abuse.

Ted Nugent is a musician turned political figure and a close personal friend of United States President Donald Trump. In the 1980s, Nugent first succeeded first as a member of the Amboy Dukes, then as a solo musician, and eventually in his proud traditional of using his celebrity status to coerce teenagers into having sex with him while he was already well into his thirties. …

Hugs Over Masks is pretty much a Canadian spin-off of QAnon

It seems it’s nearly impossible to be on the internet the last few months without seeing at least one video of someone making a fuss about face masks in public. I know for sure my Facebook feed, Instagram feed, and front page of Reddit are all filled with short clips and compilations of those dubbed ‘Karens’ freaking out about mask rules. Some, you may have even seen on local news.

The first few might be amusing but the fact of the matter is that there are far too many of these videos from both The United States and Canada to be considered isolated incidents at this point. These, along with news stories of ‘anti-mask’ rallies around Canada, like the one in Ottawa last week that allegedly drew 1200 people, might have one wondering exactly why there’s an almost-militant anti-mask stance that so many are taking. …

It‘s not the first time the Alt-Right’s Troller-In-Chief has pulled this move.

Content Warning: hate speech, racial slurs

In the year 2000 there was South Park episode called ‘Chef Goes Nanners’. In it, the town of South Park is put into a political divide over the issue of whether or not they should change their undeniably racist flag.

Among the most vocal of the townspeople are those in South Park’s Ku Klux Klan chapter, who are the only people openly fighting to keep the flag because they’re proud of the racist depiction on it. Eventually, a non-member — Jimbo — suggests to them that to keep the flag, they should pretend to endorse changing the flag. The idea being that if townspeople might vote to keep it if they know that it will make the Klan unhappy. …

Pureflix is real and it can hurt you.

I love bad movies. When people around me start talking about celebrity encounters, I get giddy at the thought of sharing my, let’s say unconventional, brush with glamorous Hollywood: Meeting Tommy Wiseau and Greg Sestero of The Room. I imagine no child on this continent has as much innocent joy when they speak of meeting Santa Claus as I do when I think of the uninterrupted 15 minutes that my friend and I got to spend having Tommy make us laugh uncontrollably in our first year of University. …

Scenario:

Recently, the Greatest President Ever committed an oopsie daisy and re-Tweeted a video of a man yelling “White Power”. Now, you know that President Trump isn’t racist, so obviously he was being sarcastic when he sent that tweet. But not everyone is saying the same. Some on The Left are trying to say that it was almost like, obvious that the guy in the video was saying that?

You decide to keep browsing Twitter to get your mind off radical Cancel Culture. …

And by we, I mean the rest of the world, but especially Canada.

If you’re a fellow Canadian, you’ve probably been somewhere in the middle of a debate on reopening your province or town/city that you didn’t necessarily want to be in at least once in the last few months. That’s not to say you don’t necessarily have a strong opinion about the whole situation, but more so that you’re probably exhausted of hearing about it all. If you’re in Ontario, the centre of the exhaustion was, at one point, a single photograph of Trinity Bellwoods park in Toronto.

For some background, the photo was taken near the first week of many non-essential Ontario businesses reopening. That week, to so many Ontario residents, effectively meant the end of the pandemic. Hooray, we can go back into the garden centre at Loblaws! So, it’s over then? COVID just gave us a break because we worked really hard to flatten that curve? We’ll be sharing drinks at Mandarin again next week? …